Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Out With The Old - In With The New - One from the archives...

So even though I *most likely* have a real date for New Year's Eve this year - holy shitballs!  I felt it would be a great time to drag this out from the archives, just in case any of you have been waiting until after the Holidays, to break up with your significant other...  Here it goes.

I'm a night owl by nature, and seem to have insomnia more often as I get older. I'm wondering if this may have something to do with the fact that time really DOES go much faster the older I get, or that I simply need more awake hours to think, as well as get shit done because I feel like I'm on some weird "warp speed."

I dunno.

What I DO know however, is that I was just thinking about a few people I know (mostly guys but some girls too,) who are staying with people they no longer want to be with until "after the holidays."

This makes no fucking sense to me whatsoever.

Hey!  Let's just pretend that everything is bright & rosy and we're still madly, romantically obsessed. We'll buy presents for the other person they'll probably secretly hate anyway because of all of the pent up resentment and frustration, because we all know it takes two to tango. We'll meet each others families and play nicey nicey, spend even more money on New Year's getting a hotel room and on some booze so we can get drunk enough to even want to have sex with the other person (for memory's sake) and kiss at midnight while we're really secretly fantasizing about making out with the person we were eying earlier on the other side of the room, and who we swear we had sparks with when they brushed against us on their way out of the bathroom.

Really???!!! How the hell does this sound like a good idea to anyone?
"I'm so over (insert name here) but don't want any drama over the holidays."
Seriously - what the hell?! The holidays ARE drama! There couldn't be a better time to be done with something and make a clean break! Just don't buy him/her a frickin' gift. There's a clue for ya.

"Ummm... I think I'm going to go spend Christmas with Grams at the rest home this year sweetie."

"But your grandmother has Alzheimer's. She doesn't even remember who you are anymore. She always calls you Herman and asks you to brush her dentures."

"Uhhhh, yeah I know, but she doesn't get any visitors and I just want to go. Have fun with your family and everything."

If any man broke up with me on January 2nd, I think I would want to do something evil to him. Seriously. I'd start with taking back my presents, but it couldn't stop there. The first thing that popped into my slap-happy brain was the joy I'd find in such a situation of spray painting "Christmas Killer" on their car. Maybe have some guys dress up like Santa and kick his ass. Call him (fake) sobbing uncontrollably on Christmas Eve & New Year's for the next 5 years. Something fun!

I just don't get it.

The New Year is your opportunity for a fresh start. It can't START on January 2nd, or 3rd, or 4th... If you wait until then, you're going to potentially jinx your whole damn year! That would be no bueno.

If you don't like someone anymore - just be honest for cripes sake and move on. Do us all a favor. Grow a pair, put your big boy/girl panties on, and simply say:
"I need to move on. And by the way, I want to sleep with your best friend/mother/brother/dog."

As the dump-er, at least give the dump-ee the opportunity to go out and have revenge sex with someone better looking than you on New Year's Eve. You at least owe them that much. They may cry out YOUR name in the throes of passion, but probably only because they were just telling their new lover a joke about how small your penis is. Oops. Did I just say that out loud? Bad broken internal editor...

Really what it boils down to is this - everyone just needs to get over themselves.

We'll all be missed.

But probably only for a little while. It's the God's honest truth.

And on that note, I'm glad I'm single when I hear these stupid "holiday dilemmas." I'm glad it's just me, my kid/pet zoo, and my kind and loving (battery operated boyfriend) BOB. BOB won't dump me before the holidays. He'll be right where I left him when I get home and always has something nice to say (and do).

And don't get me wrong - I really do love men. But unfortunately, usually the wrong ones! Hahaha.  And until there's someone who I actually like more than BOB, I really enjoy being a single girl. Even at the holidays.
Maybe even more so, because I know some wanker isn't just shaking the hour glass until it's time to break up with me.

So Happy almost New Year's everyone! Out with the old and in with the new.

I am now going to try to force myself to sleep.

Friday, December 24, 2010

A New Year's Nudge

What does the word "community" mean to you?  The dictionary defines the word as: an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (as species) in a common location.

To me, community is about the people, the tribe... It brings a sense of belonging, a sense of peace, a sense of hope.  It means there are people who "have your back," and will love and support you whether you're up or you're down.

I've never quite experienced community to the extent I've felt with my Downtown Phoenix tribe.

The last couple of years have been hard on all of us.  We've lost houses, jobs, businesses, suffered health issues, and struggled on numerous levels.

Yet throughout, or perhaps because, we have bonded together in the most joyful way possible - we have created community.

I truly believe a place is made by the people - not the place.  A place can be improved upon and changed.  A place becomes alive by the people who put their energy there.  Without real "life," a place is just a place...

My optimism for the New Year fills me with excitement and wonder.  I'm like a little kid in a giant toy store with a million dollar gift card and a shopping cart as big as a house.  I can't wait to watch everything unfold!

I am blessed to have some of the most talented, amazing, caring human beings in my tribe.  Creative visionaries.  Idealists.  Genuinely good people.  A group of people who can together, elicit real, positive change in this place which is our home.

Heading into the New Year, I am also thrilled to have NOT landed that cushy corporate gig with the steady paycheck and expense card (which I secretly know I wasn't chosen for because I own a vagina and don't play golf unless it includes windmills and clown heads).  Really, thanks for not picking me!  I'm a die hard entrepreneur after all and I was excited to diversify and start a new business which can happily co-exist with my current business, but allows me to wear cute clothes more than a respirator and tyvek suit.  It's nice to accessorize with prettier things than duct tape, trust me.

What is this exciting new company, you ask?  Well, from all of my years in the green/environmental industries, Champion PR + Consulting will specialize in working with environmental non-profits and green/sustainable businesses (or those who want to be).  The only missing component is my website - which will be done by January 1st, so stay tuned!  

Too many companies out there are greenwashing and not really "walkin' their talk,"so my goal is to help make sure all of their marketing materials, PR, etc. are truthful and transparent (protecting liability,) as well as utilize my 10+ years of experience and contacts within the green arena.  Yep - I was there long before it "tipped." Plus, "everyone needs a Champion," so it feels awesome to be excited about "work" again!

Our community too is building momentum.  The circles are all starting to collide like a perfect 4th of July fireworks display!

Get Your PHX, Rogue Green, Radiate Phoenix, the Co-Hoots gatherings; it's drawing us all together and pushing us to be engaged and active community members.  Our unified voice is getting stronger by the moment, and though we've taken some great baby steps - I have a feeling 2011 is going to see some real shift and domino effect action with our growing tribal force.

So at the end of the day, open your hearts and go meet your neighbors.  Give a shit.  Do something good.  Live your truth.  Laugh every day.  Life is short, people.  Nurture your community like a gorgeous, rare plant - and watch it grow.

Happy Holidays and a spectacular New Year from life's little cheerleader, Msss. Champion.